this is the price that has been paid in full
by akurosa
Summary: Some days, it's the ridiculously small things that break them and make them start over again.
1. Sanji & Luffy

_I've come back with a new series! I'm really going to be pushing the boundaries on this one, and I'm gonna try to go as angst-y as I can without actually becoming too OOC. This is rated for bad language. Bad, bad language._

_What will this series be about? You'll find out anyways but just in case you're wondering, it'll be about the small things, the little parts of each other that have changed and the straw hat crew has to get used to because two years is a long time to spend apart. This is actually an extension of LaFia's request which was more or less asking for 'the crew members learning to get used to each other again'. Here it is. If you have any suggestions or parings of characters you want to request, they'll be greatly welcomed. They're being craved actually._

When Sanji realizes, it is entirely by accident.

It was because beautiful Nami-san, radiant and dazzling like the sun Nami-san, had been desperate to get Luffy away from the maps she was drawing and Sanji had jumped to her rescue by dragging Luffy into the kitchen under the pretense of needing help. Of course Sanji didn't need help in the kitchen, and if he ever did, it wouldn't come from his just-above-brain-dead captain. However, the smile of honest gratitude from his precious Nami-san was worth even the snacks Luffy would no doubt be inhaling when he thought Sanji wasn't watching.

So Sanji told his captain to skin the potatoes that were helplessly waiting in a pile on the table and warned that he would have Luffy's head if they didn't have any potatoes left for dinner. Luffy bobbed his head furiously and that was that.

Leaving Luffy to the potatoes and assured by the fact that they had more in the storage, Sanji began his preparations for dinner. The menu tonight would be lobster thermidor with baked corn and mashed potatoes on the side; he had excellent white wine he felt Robin-chan would enjoy with her meal. Gravy, he would have to make from scratch but that was no problem because it was what delicate Nami-san and fair Robin-chan would be eating and it had been two years and Sanji was sure they had nothing but the absolute best to make up for that time.

It was at this point that Sanji realized Luffy was too quiet, and suddenly the peaceful stillness seemed ominous instead. He set the corn in a bowl and slowly turned around.

What he sees isn't what he expected to see.

The pile of potatoes is already significantly smaller than how Sanji left it, but all Sanji can see is his captain sitting between the two piles of skinned potatoes and the untouched ones. Luffy, is squinting his eyes in concentration as he carefully peels a potato free with a knife, and Sanji stares in amazement because Luffy is actually doing it _right_.

And then his memory catches up with the rest of his stumbling brain and his realization comes crashing down, of exactly _why_ his captain is so capable, and while his amazement turns into something darker, some part of his heart he didn't even know existed twists viciously.

Sanji's long strides swallow the distance between them in seconds and he snatches the knife out of Luffy's hand.

"You're not doing it properly," Sanji snaps because his heart is hurting, his throat is burning but he would rather die than admit the truth. "I shouldn't have relied on stupid monkeys from the beginning; you go outside and call the shitty swordsman to get his ass in here."

He doesn't need Zoro anymore than he needs Luffy but he's holding a knife, and _knife-blade-zoro _is the only logical connection his screaming brain can make at the moment. Thankfully, Luffy has been kicked out of the kitchen far too often to take any offense and cheerfully bounces up to do as told. It is when the kitchen door shuts close that Sanji sinks to an empty chair and grits down, hard, on a cigarette he pulls out.

The cigarette is halfway gone when the swordsman lazes in with an insult ready but Zoro catches Sanji's stricken face and tilts his head in question. Sanji thinks of telling the swordsman to _stop staring like an idiot and start the fuck working _or maybe just a _start the fuck working. _What Sanji doesn't think is _god damnit Zoro, __**fix**__ this_ and instead, wordlessly gestures to the pile of potatoes, but somehow, just somehow, it means the same thing.

Zoro follows his crew mate's gesture and when he finds the two, finely skinned potatoes lying near Sanji's feet and Luffy's pout that he'd been trying to help but still got kicked out of the kitchen, he puts two to two together. And he can't stop the pained intake that escapes.

Because two years ago, Luffy couldn't skin a potato without skinning half of the potato with it and Sanji always ended up doing it for him. Two years later, Luffy can.


	2. Robin & Nami

_Yes, look at this, reveiws made another update faster. This is... less angst-y in some way and more in anoher. Anyhow, to me, Robin is the recently-angsted character so I can't seem to make her angst like the others. Rather, she is the understanding one who silently and secretly helps the others' through their struggling. Ugh, I'm worried that everybody's gonna tell me they don't get this chapter. _

Franky feels a sort of kinship to Robin, a familiarity he can't quite put into words. It may be because of their strangely parallel pasts that had the world government snapping at their heels, or their being the older members of their dynamic crew. However, solidarity doesn't equal into comprehension and when it comes to the archeologist, he's just as clueless as the rest.

So when, not many days after they reunited, Robin, who had left the deck to read in her room, comes back and pulls him aside, Franky doesn't have the faintest clue what she could possibly want. When she asks him for a spare key to her and Nami's room, the cyborg _still_ doesn't have the faintest clue, but agrees anyways.

"There's only one set of keys, and I'm holding on to it right now for safe-keeping," All the rooms in Sunny had seperate locks and keys but they weren't used, not once. It was because none of them ever recognizesd the need to lock their doors-except for Sanji who was alway Luffy-proofing their food storage. "I'll make you an extra copy; it should only take a couple of hours," Franky thinks for a moment before asking. "Will I need to make two or just one?"

"Thank you Franky-san, I will need just one for myself." Robin adds with a smile. "I am wondering if we could keep my request private, away from Nami-chan's ears?"

It is a bizzare favor to make because, afterall, they share a room and Robin is asking for a spare set of keys to that room. Franky nods however, because he trusts her.

"Okay, just..." Franky glances the the side, in the direction of the cabin where Nami had also left for her room, hours ago, to rest. "Should we be worrying about Nami-sis?"

The returning reassurance is simple, shockingly so. "No, I am locked out of our room at the moment but I do not want to wake Nami-chan to get inside. That is all."

"Nami-sis _locked_ the door?"

"Yes," Robin replies(_and remembers_). "Sometimes it takes time to realize you are no longer alone."


	3. Sanji & Zoro

_The requested Zoro&Sanji chapter. I've written Luffy & Zoro too much I feel out of my depth. Regardless, requests and suggestions are always loved._

Everybody has habits or a routine they are familiar with and so Sanji isn't very surprised when Zoro pads into the kitchen after dinner and stares at the back of Sanji's head expectantly. Despite that the swordsman doesn't say a word, Sanji feels the intense gaze without having to turn around and sighs. He pulls his hands out of the rubber gloves, steps past Chopper, who is helping him dry the dishes before they are put away, and punches in the password for their double door refrigerator.

"My hands are full so get the beer-_only one_-yourself," Sanji orders as he returns to the sink.

At the prospect of alcohol, Zoro passes up the chance to shoot back a snarky response and busies himself to looking through the fridge.

"Damnit ero-cook," Comes the terse response not thirty seconds later. "Where the hell did you put my-oh. Found it."

"...Ungrateful bastard," Sanji mutters under his breath when the swordsman takes his leave while taking a swig of his newly acquired beer. "I put the damn beer on the fridge door shelf so he doesn't have to reach far in for it and he still has the nerve to complain…"

"It's his eye."

Sanji starts and turns to his furry friend. Chopper has stilled, his gaze frozen on the fridge door as he continues so softly that Sanji wonders if Chopper even means for him to hear.

"There's only so much one eye can do," The doctor tears his gaze away and looks up to his friend. His eyes are wide and bright. "With only one eye, Zoro's visual field is cut in half. He probably can't see things that are on his furthest left."

Something about Chopper's words is like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath out of Sanji and the cooks scrambles to regain his equilibrium.

"He's fine in battle," Sanji points out blankly. "And he always reacts faster than any of us. That doesn't make sense, he can block a thirty inch _blade_ during battle and has trouble finding _beer _in the kitchen?"

"Zoro can sense movement," The doctor's voice is strong but two years is what it cost to put that there. Chopper blinks hard. "But even he can't sense color."

(_Hours later, when Usopp steps inside the kitchen because it's his turn to move the desserts outside to the deck, he finds a rare sight: their password locked fridge wide open. The cook is standing in front of the fridge to….. pull all of the beer cans that are on the left fridge door and move it to the right. Usopp, wondering if his crew mate has finally cracked, carefully asks what he is doing. The cook stills for a moment, locking Usopp into the strangest gaze before turning away and muttering, 'redecorating'_.)


	4. Zoro & Luffy

_i lost my iphone OH MY GOD i lost my iphone. I feel so horrible... don't think I'll be able to update anything until I find it or get a new one, so here's a short one till then. I'll try to reply to all of your wonderful reviews when I'm less depressed :( Thanks always though. _

"Luffy."

Luffy blinks once, and then twice. A familiar grip is on his shoulder, casual but firm enough for Luffy to realize his nakama is trying to say something.

"Luffy." Zoro repeats and Luffy finally registers that he is holding a fist full of an unconscious pirate hunter's shirt. The swordsman presses. "Let him go."

For some reason though, Luffy can't because he knows that it is important that he keeps a hold on this man and make sure he never touches Zoro. The blood rushes to his ears again and Luffy tightens his hold on the pirate hunter, never hearing the terrible snarl that has the rest of his surrounding crew mates flinching back. The grip on his shoulder tightens.

"Let him go Luffy," Zoro's call is low and gentle as he promises his captain that this time, it's different. "I'm here."

_(Luffy doesn't know how the pirate hunter could have caught Zoro off-guard so easily, but it hardly matters because the pirate already has his fist pulled back, ready to send the man flying. Zoro is reaching for his katanas as well but Luffy's fist will get there first so there are no worries. But then, Luffy realizes, but then, the sight of the pirate hunter reaching for the swordsman who is doubled over is gut-twistingly familiar, the way the man's hand is stretched towards Zoro, because it's just like when, because it's just like when the shichibukai-_

-_and something in Luffy _snaps.)


	5. Usopp & Chopper

_Ultra One Piece Fan asked for Usopp and Chopper and… well.. err… it has Usopp and Chopper...and major angst. Oh, and I found my iPhone!_

(_"Usopp," Chopper's soft whisper jolts Usopp out of his dreams. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" _

_Before the question is fully articulated, the sniper waves a hand as an invitation and Chopper wastes no time scrambling in to join his friend who is buried under a barricade of blankets; after weeks in the scorching desert of Alabasta, Going Merry and the sea feels chilly in comparison._

_"Nightmare?" Usopp murmurs sleepily as he shifts against the bundle of warmth that has planted itself by his side. The lack of answer that comes forward encourages him to slip back into his sweet dreams when a small, broken voice admits. _

"_I hear them scream._")

Usopp, in that instinctive way they all could, felt the difference as soon as they stood to fight together for the first time in two years. Chopper remained at the edge of his sight and while most of him was excited anticipation of seeing how stronger his best friend's transformations had become, a small part in his heart was alarmed at the swiftness Chopper brought down the enemies. The reindeer's movements hinted of a quiet efficiency that usually followed Zoro's blades, a kind of certainty that would burn in Robin's steady gaze before she crossed her arms.

_("Do you ever have nightmares about the people you hurt Usopp?" _

_"Yes," The sniper, now fully awake, answers truthfully. "I used to." _

_"How …" There is the slightest choke in the words. "How do you make them go away?" _

_The question hangs in the lightless night as the sniper thinks of every pained grunt from his enemies that he's never able to forget and the blood he sometimes has to scrub from under his fingernails. Then Usopp thinks of Luffy perched upon Going Merry's figurehead, and the scar on Nami's palm. _

_"The nightmares will stop," He promises. "When you figure out what's worth them."_)

Chopper doesn't hesitate in battles anymore and Usopp, lying on his own hammock and buried under the blankets alone, feels very cold.


	6. Nami & Brook

_One of the readers asked for a BrookxLuffy and NamixLuffy and that translated in my mind into this: BrookxNami. I hope you don't mind, IAmTheBattleMaiden. I think Brook is the one with the saddest past out of all of them and it breaks my heart. This chapter took a while, constructive criticism and suggestions/requests are loved._

Two years ago it had never been a coincidence when Usopp stared out into the sea wistfully and then dinner would mostly be of East Blue dishes. It is no coincidence now when Luffy looks at the scar on Zoro's face and stills for a moment too long-and then Franky suddenly exclaims that he has a new _supa_-_cool _invention he just thought of and will Luffy-bro come over and help?

They watch each other and see what matters, care for each other in the smalls ways they can; Nami is no different. If Chopper has shift on the cooler and windier nights after days of stifling heat and sunshine, or if Zoro doesn't have shift on rainy weeks that are damp and make his scars itch, the both of them know better than to chalk it out to luck. They accept the gesture in silence, with gratitude that may or may not translate into a smile the next morning or a brush of the shoulders during lunch. Nami feels the sky and the wind that same instinctive way Luffy understands people or Zoro reads movement of an opponent and that means she can, in her own way, protect her nakama she cannot in battle.

This is why Nami will never forgive herself for _this_:

"Brook," Nami reaches over and touches his hand. She steels herself and ignores the surprised intake or the wild flinch. She pretends her heart didn't break into a million pieces and whispers. "It's just me."

The skeleton stares at the slender hand on his before following the arm up till he meets Nami's gaze. His gaze frightens her, stops her blood cold because Brook looks at her but he is not looking at her at all. He is not seeing anything beyond what his broken mind is showing him, the memories of a different time on a different deck, on a different foggy night.

He looks as though he will never be happy again.

Brook's hand is still slack under Nami's but he twitches ever so slightly as he asks with hope shaking as much as his voice.

"Yorki-san?"

_No_, Nami knows it is unfair but cannot help think, _because I am someone who will never leave you and go. _She swallows hard and tries, "Come back Brook."

The musician doesn't react to her words, he doesn't even move, and doesn't stop murmuring unfamiliar names under his breath. Nami's grip tightens and if Brook were still flesh and blood, her nails would have broken into his skin and made him bleed. Brook is not though and so Nami bleeds for him. "It's me Nami, and you're on Thousand Sunny. You're safe and I'm here and what you're seeing, whatever you're seeing isn't _real_ so come back, please, _Brook_."

Her voice cracks on the last word, breaking off in a choke, barely audible and not at all intelligible but that is what does it. It is what has Brook snapping back to her, his phalanges protectively curling around her hand as he breaks out of his fog-induced, pain and fear muddled memories and answers to her distress instead. He blinks at her(_though he has no eyelids-skull joke! _a slightly hysterical voice in Nami's head helpfully supplies) and reaches over with his free hand to wipe the tears threatening to fall.

"…Nami-san?" Brook inquires as he takes in his crew mate who is kneeled beside him and clutching his hand in the middle of the deck and night. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Brook," If she holds his hand any tighter she may crush it but Nami can't find it in her to let go.

"Nami-san?" Brook looks at her with quiet concern, really _looks_ at her, straight at her. "What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

_Yes_, Nami wants to cry. _Because I_ forgot. _I __gave you shift on a foggy night because I forgot how badly you react to that, and when I woke up to hear you calling for your dead crewmates, I thought I was going to die of a broken heart. _

"Yes," she answers instead and looks at her friend, silently, fiercely bidding him to really _see_.

"But it's over now," Nami whispers. "I promise."


	7. Zoro & Nami

Loanshark had asked for one with the monster trio and the weak trio after the two years and Daaaarn, I didn't want to update two Nami's in a row, but this just wrote itself. Speculation on my part but I really don't think Nami or Usopp or Chopper would have ever killed someone. No romance, really just two friends talking. This is by iPhone so no spell-check unfortunately. I'm going to Avignon, probably really no wifi now. ;( enjoy.

Thanks German Girl(I love these little moments too, I guess I'm just thinking about this 24/7 ;))

(_Zoro knows determination steel-hard and ice-cold. He understands the raw, brimming need to protect and the chilling but sweet temptation, to press a second longer and snap a neck, to cut an inch deeper and end a heart_.)

"Why'd you stop me?"

Zoro opens one eye at the question and then yawns, much to Nami's displeasure. However, for once she does not try to yell or smack him into movement but folds her arms and waits. That is how Zoro knows she is serious.

(_Zoro knew and so when Nami swung down with her Clima-Tact in what would had been a killing blow, he stepped beside her and brought Shusui up, forcing their weapons to meet halfway_.)

"He had already taken a bad hit," Zoro points out, referring to the enemy pirate Nami had faced in battle. "Another blow like that would have killed him."

A flinch is carefully hidden but not to those who are looking for it. Zoro's eyes narrow and Nami, sensing the scrunity, lashes out.

"What point were the two years if I'm not strong enough? I can do it," Nami snaps and swings around to pace along the balustrade. However her anger cools as fast has it burned and Zoro waits until her breathing evens out as she rubs her eyes with the edge of her palms. When she turns back, her gaze is pained and pleading. "I have to be able to do it Zoro."

That is the truth, or at least that is the truth as Nami sees it and Usopp and Chopper probably think it; that they must be strong in battle, as ruthless as Zoro and as swift as Sanji. The swordsman does not protest or deny it, only closes his eyes. When he finally answers it is this:

"It's true if you kill a man, he's gone forever, you're safe. If you let him live, you have to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder in case he comes after you or worse-someone aroud you. But Nami," Zoro thinks of the scar on Nami's hand and the tattoo on her shoulder as he meets her gaze. "We always knew you were strong enough to kill a man," A pause before he continues, so quiet it is almost gentle. "You need to know you're brave enough not to. "


	8. Sanji & Luffy II

It'll_ be a bit of a long author's note this time. Those who are busy, please just skip to the second paragraph of my notes. First, I feel very bad about this overload of Zoro, Luffy, Sanji and even Nami yet no Franky. Every time I sit down and try to write something, my brain spits out something else. Hopefully, the next chapter will be Franky's(and, due to multiple requests, probably Robin's as well). _

_Second, I really hope none of my readers think that, after all the time I spend on thinking about and proofreading each chapter, I am too lazy to capitalize the titles of my works. I assure you it is intentional, and if anybody wants to know why, they are welcome to ask. Not just about the title though, if anybody has any comments or thoughts about how I should do something better, or how it can be fixed, please tell me but also, please tell me __why__ it's detrimental. I write most of the stuff I write for a reason and a simple 'because it's not good' isn't very persuasive._

_Heavens, my note is almost longer than my chapter. Thanks and enjoy. _

Dinner tonight is beef tenderloin with black truffles. The meal will start with caviar canapés-the caviar was a lucky find in the market at their last island-and a simple salad with an assortment of mozzarella cheese, raisons and an extra helping of warmed goat cheese. Throw in buk choy and chicken and he will have fried rice to offer before he brings out his prized dish of the meal; beef tenderloin well cooked in red wine sauce with black truffles and baked potatoes on the side.

Sanji smirks as he inhales the deep scent of the sauce waiting innocently in a glass bowl. The red wine sauce isn't any wine sauce; it is one of Zeff's specialties, one of the few recipes Sanji won from the man while under the former pirate's tutelage. It took Sanji a gruesome three weeks in the past and three and a half hours today for him to mimic the taste exactly how Zeff had made it, if not _better_. Yes, Sanji relishes. It is _perfect_ and dinner will end perfectly as well with cold shu creams that are waiting in the fridge.

The cook sweeps the surface and all that is resting upon it with his gaze. He nods in satisfaction. The ingredients are placed out before him like the steps to make all of it in a sufficient time frame are in his head. The salad is the easiest, and the canapés will have to be made just before they are served. He has already cooked the chicken and buk choy; the rice will have to be fried last minute to guarantee the greatest taste. That means he is nearly finished; all that is left is the beef tenderloin. He reaches over to the stove to preheat a skillet. Sanji twists the knob and listens to the familiar hiss of a fire flickering awake.

Luffy chooses then to barge into the kitchen with a gleeful "SANJI!" and throw himself into the chair closest to the kitchen, directly behind the cook. Sanji's hand flinches away from the knob and the fire instantly dies out.

"Can I watch?" is the eager question but neither of them are fooled; Luffy is more interested in the occasional scraps Sanji figuratively throws his way. Luffy is already starry eyed and drooling. "What's for dinner?"

It is a simple question, a question Sanji has heard more times than he cares to remember, but two years later, nothing is simple any more. The answer catches in his throat and Sanji hestitates to continue. Even in the safety of their ship and comfort of his kitchen, Sanji must _choose_.

The cook looks at the array of ingredients he has prepared for the past hour, the different dishes that complement each other and should be served together or not at all. At the raw meat and vegatables he can put back to store and save but the fried rice dish that doesn't have fried rice yet, his precious wine sauce that will lose it's flavor, the food he will have to _waste_. At the fact that if he changes his mind now, he will have to start dinner all over again. Then Sanji glances back his captain who is patiently waiting in his chair with a cheerful grin.

The decision is easy.

"Sushi," It is not a lie but it is not the truth either. It is Sanji's answer(_apology) _to the two-year-old pain in Luffy's still gaze from the previous day.

("_Luffy, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a-oh," Sanji snaps his lighter shut but it is too late._)

The pain that was quiet and yet burning just as brightly as the fire his friend had been staring at. "Dinner tonight is sushi."


	9. Robin & Franky

"Robin-sis," The little blood left in the Franky freezes when he catches sight of Robin's bandaged arm, coincidently the same arm he snagged the previous day to catch his friend from tripping during a violent lurch the ship took. He approaches the archeologist, voice rising in the hint of panic. "What happened? Why are you hurt?" He pauses, swallows hard and then forces the impossible question. "Did I…?"

_(__The day the cyborg had finally finished the last of modifications, had replaced every damaged inch of his hands with stronger, thicker, and harder steel, he accidently crushed a bottle of coke with his grip._)

A second stretches into eternity before Franky can really breathe again, when Robin only smiles with the gentle rebuke, "You would never hurt me."

(_He never notices the careful phrasing that, despite__ the finger-shaped bruise concealed under the bandages, can be the truth as well__._)


	10. Usopp & Zoro

_One, I broke my leg, ouch. Two, I hate politics, it's Dokdo not takeshima. Three, Usopp is awesome to write about. This chapter is because sometimes it hurts to realize how much you mean to another. _

_*Edited on September 4th, thanks to the reviewer who pointed out that I got the name of Luffy's attack wrong!_

As if to compensate for his eye, Zoro's reactions to attacks from his left side were impossibly fast; Usopp saw the way the swordsman knocked away attacks with a swiftness and smoothness most able men couldn't achieve. Usopp honestly believed that Zoro could cut a pebble thrown into his left blind spot in perfect half, without batting his eye.

That faith is mostly why, when Usopp swung his rod back in a motion to throw his line in, he didn't expect the fishing hook to hit Zoro the way it does.

The sniper stares in horror and disbelief as blood dribbles from the jagged cut to slide down the swordsman's temple. The sight of his hook drawing a dangerous arc and the sleeping swordsman_ not noticing _keeps playing like a broken musicbox in his mind's eye.

"Zoro," He chokes but it is buried under the flurry of sounds that the short, surprised hiss of pain from their usually stoic crew member set off: Nami shooting out of her chair, Sanji calling wildly for their doctor and Chopper skidding out of his room with a book still in his hoove.

The three carefully surround the swordsman, who looks just as stunned as them. Grunting in answer to Chopper's questions, he gingerly touches his left temple and when his fingers come away with sticky blood, he stills for a moment. Then he turns to Usopp who is still holding the rod. The sniper doesn't miss that Zoro has to tilt his head farther to find Usopp with his single eye.

"Good shot Usopp," The swordsman grins though the effect is ruined by the smudged blood running down his face.

Usopp doesn't apologize; he can understand that much from the too casual words sent his way. He nods tightly in answer and leaves Zoro to wave off Chopper's concerns and his crew mates' fussing. Settling back down between Sunny's balustrades, he doesn't dare swing his fish rod again but instead, drops the line lifelessly into the water. He watches the bloodied hook fall and wonders why Zoro, with all his swordsman senses and training, got cut by a wayward fishing line Usopp threw because he didn't think to move the hell away. Usopp is a liar but no fool; he doesn't believe Zoro didn't notice. Zoro simply chose not to react. Why would he not react? It was absurd, it was like, like how he ducked all punches but never Nami's. Like how he sidestepped all rockets but never a gomugomu one.

Usopp's breath hitched as his heart constricted; the hook didn't hit Zoro because it came from his blinded left side. It hit him because it came from _him._

Only when Sanji drops beside him and wordlessly hands him a handkerchief does Usopp notice he is crying.


	11. Brook & Luffy

His shift is not over for another couple of hours, but it will have to wait. Brook approaches what he noticed while up on the crow's nest: his captain, sitting on Sunny's head eerily still and silent. The familiar straw hat is nowhere to be seen, but Brook guesses from the curved back that the pirate is clutching it close to his heart, a somber mimicry of two years ago.

Brook does not ask why Luffy is up so late an hour; the minute trembles as his friend curls into himself are an answer enough. Instead, he steps onto the deck, his shoes tapping against the wooden floor and gently warning his friend of his appearance. The rustle of fabric is the only sign of Luffy turning around and when he does, Brook does not flinch away at the large brown eyes that remind Brook of how painfully young his captain really is. He listens to the roar of grief churning in his captain's soul, the broken melody of discordant notes, and the white-knuckled grip crushing hat against scar.

"I'll be the death of you someday," Luffy suddenly whispers, and something in Brook's chest Brook was sure he no longer had, shatters. Because he has just heard the same words they've all jokingly told each other, come from Luffy as if he _means_ them.

_That's not true_, Brook wants to argue but he swallows them down for he is stronger than that. _I'll never let that become true_, he wants to promise but he buries them deep for he is not strong enough for that.

As it is, Brook can only whisper back. "I do not worry Luffy-san. I know for a fact that there are worse ways to die."


	12. Chopper &

_Always, thank you for reading and the reviews. _

His friends will pop by during day with sheepish grins and cuts and bumps but Chopper doesn't worry. He will fuss over them and in turn they will look up to him with tender awe before asking after a book Chopper's been reading or to invite him out to the deck. Sometimes, they'll just hang back and talk about nothing in particular but say everything in the way they orbit around him, brushing sleeves against shoulders.

Sometimes Chopper does worry because his friends will rush in, frantically shouting his name like the terrifying day Franky dragged Usopp in after a wayward experiment("Bro, _help_!") or the day Zoro dragged Luffy in after the captain had fallen aboard("CHOPPER, HE WON'T BREATHE!").

However, the days (_they turn to him for help_) are nothing compared to the nights (_they don't_).

Nights after vicious battles of sweat and blood, the nights that leave half of them in fever and all of them in pain are the times Chopper must be a doctor more than a friend and steel his heart lest it breaks completely and is never whole again.

It's why when a feverish Robin flinches every time Chopper reaches out for her he doesn't turn away or when an unconscious Zoro hisses in warning at the (_un_)familiar touch of hooves Chopper is able to stand his ground. Why when all of them are silent in their pain because not one of them remembers yet that they can call his name Chopper doesn't (_know how to_) cry.


	13. Zoro & Luffy II

_Always, thank you for waiting. _

_** edited november 14th, wow, I meant this chapter as pure angst, but reading the reviews and rereading my chapter, I realize that the chapter's atmosphere can be completely different depending on how you understand the last line. My thanks to my reviewers who pointed the potential fluff out. _

Zoro opens his eyes, instantly awake and alert without understanding why. Half a beat later, he sighs and slides out from under his swords, pushing them to the side. It comes again a few minutes later from two hammocks to his left. Taking his cue, Zoro pads over to his captain.

_(The nights Luffy is silent and still in his sleep are bad.)_

He catches it again, the same strangled intake.

(_But it's the nights Luffy chokes in his sleep, as if he breathed in for a sob and then forgot how to cry halfway, that are worse._)

"Luffy," The swordsman murmurs, far more gently than most would imagine. "Wake up."

However, when the tension in his captain's sleeping frame remains, Zoro resigns himself to the inevitable. Initiating physical contact with Luffy at this point would hardly be the smartest thing to do but he'd rather take a few hits than listen to his friend suffer. The swordsman reaches over to shake his friend's shoulder-

-a hand shoots out from under the covers to clamp around his wrist and-

"Ace?"

-is the question, breathless, hopeful and so painfully _young_. For a second of eternity, Zoro wishes for the impossible.

"...It's me," He says instead and to his surprise, the hand around his wrist only tightens.

"...Zoro?"

Zoro meets the wild gaze. His calmness is almost defiant. "Go back to sleep."

And so in silence and with an arm trapped in a grip that feels more like steel than rubber, Zoro waits for his friend's breathing to slow.

(He will wait in silence; he refuses to acknowledge the bruise blossoming beneath the grip.

He refuses to consider what it means for Luffy to say his name the same way he said his dead brother's.)


	14. Nami & Sanji

Nami has learned early on in her life that denial was clearly useless. She can understand the sentiment, yet as Nami saw it, if she wanted something gone, pretending it away only wasted valuable time that could be better used in actually _making_ it go away.

But if the ex-thief were a realist, Sanji would be a romantist at heart. Tough and fierce he may be, Nami knows how the crew's current state of almost reverent uncertainty hurts him. As if their hesitations meant they had been broken and alone so long that now their healed edges didn't fit perfectly against each other anymore.

So Nami is pleased tonight; with his jacket off and sleeves rolled up, and up to his wrists in sticky cookie batter, Sanji looks more relaxed than she has seen him in a while. Despite Sanji's earlier protests, Nami hangs back to put the dinner plates away.

"Nami-san," Sanji suddenly asks, laughter in every word. "Do you remember that time after Alabasta, you were testing my new recipe for coconut butter cookies and Luffy nearly ate the table when I made him wait?"

She doesn't.

"Of course," Nami doesn't miss a beat. When Sanji glances up with a grin, her smile matches his. "How could I forget?"


	15. Brook & Franky

_Happy New Years! Hearing from you guys always motivates(guilts) me into writing more, may my readers guilt me more in 2013 ;)_

Franky doesn't feel pain. Or at least he doesn't feel it the way the others' feel it because when they break and bleed, he chips and dents and that becomes a different kind of pain. His pain is a muted, duller sort that while he notices it, it is nothing like the sharp wash of white agony from flesh, the roaring rush of seconds before the realization of blood, the pain his friends feel and he only remembers. He doesn't scar either. Not in the way the others' scar because while they are made of skin and blood(or bones and afro), he is made of steel and iron. When he is hurt(damaged), his blood does not clot to stem the flow nor does his muscle knit itself back together. Instead, cold steel replaces damaged metal and as easily as that, is as good as new.

The human body is impossibly strong and yet ridiculously fragile, vulnerable to things like time, and blood loss and infections. Franky's body is a finely tuned machine built with his own hands and has no such restrictions. The cyborg takes risks, calculated risks, because he knows he can. Because if one of them has to take the blow, it's supa-logical for the one who doesn't bleed and scar to take it.

"What were you _thinking_?" The question is the closest Franky's probably ever come to a snarl and even though he recognizes that, it doesn't mollify the intensity. "Bro, I told you to _move_."

But Brook hadn't and ignored Franky's shout in order to stand his ground against the sea-king. The sea-king Brook brought down at the price of dislocating an arm, breaking three rib bones and a femur, all because he didn't give Franky the opening he asked for.

"I am already dead Franky-san," the skeleton points out sensibly, as if he were not lying down on the deck because his leg had been snapped into two. "All of this is nothing Chopper-san cannot fix with a gallon of milk; better it be me than any of you who take far longer to heal."

"_Bull_," Franky is shouting now because that just has to be the stupidest thing he's ever heard. _Brook _wasn't the one who had to watch the sea-king clamp its jaws around his friend and bite down, _Brook_ wasn't the one who had to hear the horrible sound of bones crushing. And Brook sure as hell wasn't the one who had to be frozen on the spot, because he had gone numb with fear and denial. "That's not the damn point!"

His rage is stilled however and Franky's breath catches when Brook fixes him in an ancient, knowing gaze to quietly answer.

"No, Franky-san. It is not."


	16. Chopper & Zoro

_In which Chopper sorta protects Zoro. _

Chopper had thought that if it ever happened, it would be a second stretched into eternity, a moment of dramatic revelation and against everything he's stood for.

When it almost happens, he finds that it isn't even a choice; it just is.

Because when Zoro is blocking off numerous swords to give Franky the tenth of a second he needs to recharge and a marine twenty feet away points his gun towards the swordsman, Chopper isn't really thinking when he raises his hooves to stop the enemy.

In the end, it's their own sniper's shot that gets the marine first but the damage is done.

Nami steers Sunny back to safety and the crew settles down on the deck, but Chopper, watching them all, thinks of the moment he raised his hooves and what would have happened if Usopp hadn't been faster_._

The truth is fierce and unrepentant but also a little wild, because he always knew he could but Chopper only finally realized he really would.


	17. Nami & Luffy

_A lighter piece to balance out all the angst I've been writing. And it's been almost exactly a year since I started this already. Time flies._

Ever since Nami _really_ joined Luffy's crew, she formed the habit of writing letters even though she knew Nojiko could never write back. It was always enough knowing that somewhere back at her hometown, her sister read the letters to their mother's grave. On the off-chance the letters were intercepted by the marines, Nami could never write anything too specific, as when Vivi had joined them, or tell Nojiko where they were heading. She still tried to tell her sister as much as she could and the letters usually ended up being about updates of her maps and the antics of her crew mates.

Today, she stares at the quill and blank parchment before her; it is the first letter she is writing to her sister in two years. This will be the letter that breaks the two year silence because Nami hadn't written to her sister since the crew's separation.

(It hadn't been about keeping a low profile. It had been about sitting down to write to her sister and thinking of her captain who had lost his brother and breaking six quills before giving up writing altogether.)

Nojiko would have worried but she is just as much as Bellemere's daughter as Nami; Nami knows she doesn't need to explain. She wants to though, because Nojiko is family and Luffy and the others are…

Nami is resting her head on her chin, wondering, when it dawns to her that the figure in red on Sunny's head hasn't moved for as long as she hasn't written.

Luffy is sitting with his legs crossed, shoulders slanted down and head tilted up. His back is to her but Nami can imagine him with his eyes closed, a hand pressed against the scar on his chest and breathing in a thoughtful silence that is too solemn for her liking.

"Luffy?" She calls out impulsively. When he turns and tilts his head, she continues. "I was going to go to Sanji-kun and ask if he could make tangerine ice-cream."

Luffy's grin widens and it might just light the sky. "Okay!"

Ignoring Zoro's knowing glance, she rises to follow Luffy who is already halfway to the kitchen. But just before she does, she leans forward and writes in swift strokes, two words: _They're mine_.

She folds the parchment. Nojiko will understand.


	18. Usopp & Chopper II

_Reference to the previous Chopper&Zoro chapter. There is a Korean saying, that says men are only to cry three times in their life. Once, when they were born, second, when their parents past away, and third when their country falls. _

Usopp once read in a book Robin lent about the customs of a land far to the east, that men were only to cry thrice: when they were born, when their parents died and when their country fell. Usopp shed tears far more often than that but he understands the symbolized significance of each event because he has experienced all; his birth, his mother's death and...

Usopp has no fallen country to cry for but he lost much more than that. His world that meant everything to him was torn apart and taken away when he lost his crew mates in the most violent way possible: before his very eyes.

It was true that the sniper would be the first to catch 'can't-go-on-that-haunted-island-otis.' He can't be blamed for being one of the few sane members in his crew who don't actually want to die. He would also stand back and let the Monster Trio and Robin take on the enemies because the enemies were stronger than Usopp, his friends were stronger than the enemies and what did he say about dying again? Some might have sneered and called it cowardice but Usopp laughed and called it strategy; he didn't mind it and neither did his friends. Usopp had his place in the crew that didn't involve brute strength, was damn fine at his job, and who could possibly measure up to monsters like Luffy and Sanji anyways?

Then Kuma had appeared before them on Sabaody Archipelago and all hell broke loose. Yet what Usopp still remembers with frightening clarity in the admist of the panic and Luffy's desperate order, is Zoro-the most battered and bloodiest of all of them-telling Usopp to leave him behind so he could stall for time. Because Zoro wasn't stronger than the enemy but the enemy was stronger than Usopp and both of them knew that.

Usopp, faced wih the choice between an enemy whom he couldn't possibly win against, and a crew mate whom he couldn't possibly protect, realized he minded a lot after all.

So Usopp notices when Chopper races towards a marine. Sunny's mast obscures his view and the sniper can't tell what the marine is trying to shoot at, but he doesn't need to. The fierce determination in Chopper's gait and his raised hooves is enough.

And though Usopp may never be as strong as his friends, two years later, he can do _this_.

He pulls the sling of Kuro Kabuto back to aim; his hand is steady and it will never shake again.


	19. Nami & Franky

Though Franky is ashamed to admit it, when he first saw Nami, he dismissed her. There is no other word for it, for the way he looked at Nami but didn't really see her, didn't bother to look beyond the orange hair and curves because he didn't think there was anything to see. When he had sought a fight with the Straw Hat captain, he saw the shielding step the captain took before accepting his challenge, and Franky understood that the orange haired woman wasn't a fighter. She was weaker and protected. To Franky, she was unimportant.

Sometime after, Nico Robin disappeared and the Straw Hat Pirates did the impossible; they followed her until they found her. And when the six members stood on the roof, standing beside their captain as he declared war, every single one of them stood their ground, not faltering nor flinching. It was then when Franky began to understand that no, none of them were weak. Not the reindeer deer, the sniper, nor the woman. Not with the fierce determination in every line of their body and wicked grins as they challenged the world for a crew mate who had already walked away.

If Franky still had doubts about Nami, even after_ that_ though, they were completely eradicated when the doctor of Straw Hats turned into a hundred feet life-less monster. The overwhelming sight was enough to give him chills, but he knew that the only way to stop the reindeer was to use every devil fruit user's weakness of water against him. He offered his idea and Nami consented, but when Franky raised his arm to aim, she reached out to brush her fingers against his arm.

When she had his attention, her words were simple: "You may be steel but if you hurt Chopper, I will make you bleed."

The threat was said with such calm that Franky did not doubt Nami's ability to follow through. Never mind that he was a cyborg and two times her size, three times her weight. If Chopper was harmed, it would be done; Nami would see it done.

Then Franky was invited to stand on the same side, was welcomed with reckless adventures and easy laughter and he began to dream.

Two years later, they have returned to each other, gravitating to the boy they defined as their sun and their aching wonder is painful in its intensity. They find excuses to come out to the deck in the afternoon and crowd the kitchen to swap stories at night. They are seldom alone during shifts, with at least one sleepless crew mate offering company to another; Brook and Zoro sharing silence in the crow's nest has become a common sight.

Franky too, is no exception to this newfound almost-reverence. Every time he catches their smile, his heart swells a little more until it might just burst with joy. Whenever he joins them in battle, his heart skips a beat in worry and should he ever see them fall, Franky knows his heart will simply cease to go on.

And this blinding rush of how much these people mean to him(_everything_), of what he'd stop at to protect them(_nothing_), should be terrifying. Instead, Franky is ready.

"What?" Nami catches sight of her friend, stilled by the doorway of their kitchen to watch them. When the cyborg doesn't immediately respond, doesn't strike his signature pose, Nami wonders, "What?"

He may be steel but he'd break and bleed for any of them. Franky grins and shakes his head, "You already know."


	20. Chopper & Luffy

_I tried working with the assumption that even during the Whitebeard Arc, the general public was not privy to specific battle details (because in real-life we don't know the specific details of war-even if our own country is fighting it) and so the other Straw Hats who could only get news about Luffy from the papers don't really know how Luffy got his scar. This is about Chopper finding out. I'm probably butchering medical facts, but can I get points for effort? ;) _

_This chapter was possible, thanks to MyHeartbreaker._

After their two year separation, it became necessary to update the entirety of their medical files. It is the first oppprtunity for Chopper to see the scar on his captain's chest properly.

Some might laugh at the sight of one of the most notorious supernovas stilling like a child before the tiny reindeer. It is Chopper though and Luffy patiently waits, nodding his permission.

The doctor takes a deep breath before reaching out. He carefully runs his hooves along the scar and all of its jagged healing and rough edges, the result of too much damage and not enough treatment. The depth of the scarring implicates the amount of damage dealt to the dermis and severity of the original wound but Chopper also suspects numerous, _numerous_ infections played a part because Luffy was never good at changing his bandages on time. Even after two years of healing, the harsh sun at sea irritates the scarred tissue more easily and the skin is dark red-instead of the usual bloodless white. Chopper gingerly presses the scarring and the area around it; he can feel that skin has healed over each other and tightened, causing severe contraction. It explains Luffy's restlessness with his endless stretching and the stiffness in his movements before it.

And as much as Chopper wishes it otherwise, the diagnosis is obvious.

Luffy's scar is a burn.

The reindeer survived Doctor Kureha's tutelage and so his hooves are steady never faltering in the slightest. There is no hint of his stricken horror at the twisted humor of the world for burning a man whose older brother was literally fire.


	21. Franky, Sunny &

**A/N: Music inspires me these days; Yiruma's 'Reminiscent' is beautiful and made me write this. Please enjoy. **_  
><em>

Franky knows Going Merry perfectly in his head.

He saw the ship himself and Usopp had once shown him the blueprints. Franky could replicate the blueprints but better, complete with height, width and length dimensions, surface symbols and sectional views. He knows the exact width of every room and length of every hall down to the square meter. He knows what kind of wood must have been used to keep the ship sturdy but light, understands that Merry traded bulk for speed and balance in even the roughest waves.

In comparison, the seven Straw Hat members before him probably don't know the difference between carvel planking and strip planking. Yet they were the ones who stumbled around Merry's hallways in darkness during the night, eyes heavy with sleep, fever or pain. They came to know their ship through sheer experience, their movements attuned to the ship out of habit. They learned which planks creaked, which doors wouldn't shut and to sense Merry's balance to keep their footing during the ship's most violent shakes.

They knew their ship by heart and sometimes, when you least expected it, the heart was stronger than the head.

So when Sanji tries to turn the sink water on by pulling the handle up instead of pushing down, Franky realizes that must have been how Merry used to be.

Franky understands; two years is enough time to wear down memory and routine into raw reflex and Merry had a longer time with the crew to become reflex.

But he also understands the sudden spike of grief, not like his own patient acceptance, faintly pulling at the edge of his senses. It is impossible and of mocked legends but Franky has been a Straw Hat long enough to believe in miracles. He doesn't laugh at himself or brush the feeling away.

Instead, he pats Sunny's walls and murmurs. "Give them time. It'll be okay."

One day, after just as many starless nights and violent storms, Thousand Sunny will become their reflex too. Franky and Sunny are willing to wait.


	22. Zoro & Brook

**a/n: The wording was hard for this because Brook should still be cheerful, matter-of-fact Brook whatever happens**.

"I am here to relieve you of your shift Zoro-san, yohoho!" The skeleton glides inside the crow's nest with his violin in one hand and his cup of tea in the other. After placing the instrument on the windowsill with utmost care, he sips his tea. "You do not have to remain here for my sake. I will be fine on my own."

The night is calm and clear; the stars are bright and they light the room with soft shadows stretching along from the tips of Brook's feet. He is, after two years, still grateful to see his shadow mimic his steps.

The swordsman he addresses doesn't look up from the sword he is caring for but Brook dips his head in thanks. He knows why Zoro stays.

"The silence does not bother me anymore," Brook assures his friend. "Not the way it used to. It is strange, Zoro-san, because even after living as long as I have, life still surprises me; I have learned much in the past two years we spent apart."

During the fifty years when Brook had nothing but a tone dial and the duty of fulfilling a promise to keep him sane, his greatest enemy was silence. Death came and went to take his crew mates away and the sun set, never to rise again. Brook's own voice and the melody in his head were the only solution that could drown out the oppressing silence that relentlessly pressed against the edge of his sanity.

"It was quite delightful to find that people love my music, yohoho! They were not frightened away because of how I looked; truly, they kept coming back to listen to my songs and watch me play."

During the past two years when Brook lost everything except for his sheathed sword and his fealty to return for the call when it came, his only comrade was sound. He never had a single moment he was not surrounded by people and the melody of their souls. His managers stuck by his side and his loyal fans followed him wherever he went. No matter how thick the fog settled, dawn broke and morning came. If Brook took up his guitar, his band followed suit and if Brook held out the microphone out to the crowd, they sang along.

And yet...

"In the end, Zoro-san, sound is not too different from silence," Brook decides. "Because though I had everything I once wished for, I still felt so terribly alone."


End file.
